My shoe has a tongue

but can’t talk.

All it can do is walk.

My nose has a bridge

you can’t cross.

Which leaves me at a loss.

My eyes have pupils

you can’t teach.

What’s the purpose of each?

My ears have two drums

you can’t play.

What kind of drums are they?

What weird things words are —

they have too many meanings by far!

The farm wakes up to the sound of chooks,

The pigs give the cows some dirty looks,

The grumpy goose nips a sleepy sheep,

The ducks duck into the pond so deep.

The rabbits dig in the vegie patch

While the dogs wake up and have a scratch.

The horse goes for a little canter

And birds enjoy their feathered banter.

The scarecrow yawns and gives us a grin —

Even he can’t sleep through all the din!

What a busy way to start each day,

When all my farm friends come out to play.

Armpit, armpit,

Look at you!

You’re so hollow —

What to do?

You like to sweat

And grow hair,

No wonder you are

Hiding there!

The people who live on Shambolic Street

Are not the people you’d like to meet.

Their heads are two,

Their fingers are blue,

And out of their ears grow their feet.

I saw a man with lots of hair

sprouting from each ear.

With so much hair I wondered

how the man could hear.

The same poor man had lots more hair,

from his nose it grew.

How could he breathe, I wondered.

How did the air get through?

That same poor man was also bald —

How to fix his woes?

Just make a wig with the hair

from his ears and nose!

I met a wobbly wombat

walking down the track.

I called “Hello” and “How are you?”

but he didn’t answer back.

I watched him dig a burrow

twenty metres long.

His front paws did the tunneling —

a wombat must be strong.

For dinner he ate grass and bark,

but meat? Oh no, never!

After giving him a carrot,

we’re Best Friends Forever!

I’m all dressed up as Santa Paws,

just for Christmastime.

I won’t come down the chimney

because I’m too small to climb.

I don’t have any reindeer,

and I haven’t got a sleigh,

and I’ve left all my “presents”

outside on the lawn, okay?

The Gloopityglug

is a monstrous bug.

It gloops and it glugs

all over my rug.

Its Gloopity goo

will stick to my shoe,

slimy and shiny

and stinking like poo.

He went to the gym, did Tumble,

And tried to pick up a dumbbell.

It wasn’t much fun,

‘Cause it weighed a ton,

So from Tumbell the dumbbell did tumble.

Do not sway, 

do not lurch,

or you might  

fall off the church.

Such a sight, 

such a view,

I’d watch my step

if I were you.