I saw a man with lots of hair

sprouting from each ear.

With so much hair I wondered

how the man could hear.

The same poor man had lots more hair,

from his nose it grew.

How could he breathe, I wondered.

How did the air get through?

That same poor man was also bald —

How to fix his woes?

Just make a wig with the hair

from his ears and nose!

I met a wobbly wombat

walking down the track.

I called “Hello” and “How are you?”

but he didn’t answer back.

I watched him dig a burrow

twenty metres long.

His front paws did the tunneling —

a wombat must be strong.

For dinner he ate grass and bark,

but meat? Oh no, never!

After giving him a carrot,

we’re Best Friends Forever!

I’m all dressed up as Santa Paws,

just for Christmastime.

I won’t come down the chimney

because I’m too small to climb.

I don’t have any reindeer,

and I haven’t got a sleigh,

and I’ve left all my “presents”

outside on the lawn, okay?

The Gloopityglug

is a monstrous bug.

It gloops and it glugs

all over my rug.

Its Gloopity goo

will stick to my shoe,

slimy and shiny

and stinking like poo.

He went to the gym, did Tumble,

And tried to pick up a dumbbell.

It wasn’t much fun,

‘Cause it weighed a ton,

So from Tumbell the dumbbell did tumble.

Do not sway, 

do not lurch,

or you might  

fall off the church.

Such a sight, 

such a view,

I’d watch my step

if I were you.

I need a better bath plug,

This one doesn’t fit.

When I fill the bath with water,

I always lose a bit.

Drip, drip,

drip, drip,

the leaking doesn’t stop.

If it gets worse

my bath will drain

down to the very last drop.

I ate a piece of cake,

my teeth began to ache!

I went to the dentist

and there his apprentice

removed all my teeth by mistake.