Silly salad

Have you tried to tickle a pickle?

That’s the best way to make it giggle.

Or laughed at a big green lettuce?

We can eat it, if it will let us.

Have you talked to a ripe red tomato

That was grown by a man in Glasgow?

And as for a jolly cucumber,

Have you asked for its telephone number?

But be careful of every gherkin —

You never know where they are lurkin’.

I hope you’ve enjoyed his ballad;

Now go and eat your salad.